I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
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Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
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After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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