just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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