you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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