it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize