Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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