I hate all girls vehemently.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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