is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize