ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
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they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
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Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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