the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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