At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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