From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
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I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
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Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
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