All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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