3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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