I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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