what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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