It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize