it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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