I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize