batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
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