Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize