Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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