I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Randomize