They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
jump out the window naked night went bad
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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