Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
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Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
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thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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