that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
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i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
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Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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