Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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