I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
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