apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize