my phone needs a breathalizer
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
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