i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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