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why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Randomize
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