Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
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I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
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He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Sorry about my life...
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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