if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize