I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize