benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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