He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
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Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
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