I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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