Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Every concussion has its silver lining
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize