That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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