So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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