It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
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her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
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