He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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