So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
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She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
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Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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