on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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