So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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