Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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