I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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