Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
OPIZZABONMYDICK
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize