I wish my penis had an off switch
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We need to rekindle our bromance
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
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