I got chris browned last night
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize